Why Do People Hurt Me When I'm Trying to Do What's Right?

Because betrayal and disloyalty are not signs that you're doing something wrong. They are signs that you are walking in purpose. Jesus experienced both from His inner circle, and Scripture shows us exactly how He handled it and what that means for us.

This one is personal for a lot of us. You're doing the work. You're showing up. You're trying to walk in what God called you to, and then someone close to you, someone you trusted, someone you invested in, hurts you. Betrays you. Goes quiet on you. And the enemy will use that moment to make you question everything. Was I wrong? Did I miss God? Is this even worth it?

I need you to hear this clearly. Betrayal is not a signal to stop. It is a signal that you are exactly where purpose lives.

Betrayal and Disloyalty Come With the Walk

Jesus knew what was coming. He knew Judas would betray Him. He knew Peter would deny Him three times before the rooster crowed. And knowing all of that, the night before everything went down, He got up from the table, wrapped a towel around Himself, and washed their feet.

Both of them.

John 13:3-5 (NKJV) says, "Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded."

He washed the feet of the man who would hand Him over for thirty pieces of silver. He washed the feet of the man who would publicly deny even knowing Him. And He did it because He knew that the Father had all things in His hands. That knowing gave Him the security to serve even the people who were about to wound Him.

That is agape love in action. Not a feeling. A choice.

How Did Jesus Handle Betrayal and Disloyalty Differently?

He treated Judas and Peter the same in one sense. He served them both. He washed both their feet. He didn't pull Judas aside and make a scene. He didn't shame Peter in front of the others. He loved them both through the last supper.

But He handled them differently in another sense.

With Judas, John 13:26-27 (NKJV) says, "Jesus answered, 'It is he to whom I shall give a piece of bread when I have dipped it.' And having dipped the bread, He gave it to Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon. Now after the piece of bread, Satan entered him. Then Jesus said to him, 'What you do, do quickly.'" He released Judas to his choice. He didn't chase him. He didn't beg. He let him go and kept moving toward His purpose.

With Peter, the story ends differently. After the resurrection, Jesus sought Peter out. He restored him. Three times He asked Peter, do you love Me? Matching the three denials with three opportunities to reaffirm. He knew the difference between someone who betrayed Him for gain and someone who failed Him out of fear. And He treated them accordingly.

Discernment matters here. Not everyone who hurts you is a Judas. Some people in your life are Peters. They failed you, but they are not done. The Holy Spirit will help you know the difference if you ask.

What Do You Do With the Weight of It?

Because it is heavy. Let's not pretend it isn't. Jesus Himself felt the weight of what was coming. In the garden of Gethsemane, Luke 22:44 (NKJV) says, "And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground." He was in agony. He asked His Father if there was any other way. He felt the full weight of what betrayal and sacrifice and purpose were asking of Him.

And then He accepted it. He said, not My will but Yours be done. He accepted the cup. He accepted the weight because He understood that the weight was part of the walk.

Your purpose comes with weight too. If you don't feel any weight in what God has called you to, it's worth asking whether you've fully understood the assignment. Walking in purpose, real purpose, the kind that builds God's kingdom, will cost you something. It should feel like something.

The good news is you don't carry it alone. Matthew 11:28-30 (NKJV) says, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." He carried the weight of the world. He knows what it feels like. And He is not asking you to carry yours without Him.

Shed any misconception that betrayal and disloyalty aren't part of the walk. Shed the refusal to serve people who have hurt you. Go back to agape love. And shed the idea that the weight you're feeling means something is wrong. It might mean something is very, very right.

Take this to the Word yourself. John 13:1-27, Luke 22:39-44, Matthew 11:28-30, Romans 12:18-21.

What This Means for You

Is there someone in your life right now who has hurt you that God might be asking you to serve anyway? And is there a difference between the Judas relationships and the Peter relationships you need the Holy Spirit to help you discern?

This continues The Awesome 3 series. Last time, we talked about why God doesn't reveal everything at once and why His timing is strategic. Tomorrow we close out the series on Good Friday with the heaviest and most glorious part of the walk, following God's instructions all the way through, even when it costs everything.

I teach God's Word weekly inside the SheShed Community, and this is exactly the kind of teaching that hits different when you're in the room for it. The replay of this teaching, "The Awesome 3," is available inside the community as well. Come sit with us.